


In all the places your hands have been

by Pixiedustburns



Series: Shrapnel [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Graphic Description, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25438570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixiedustburns/pseuds/Pixiedustburns
Summary: Alex continues his search through his father's files and finds one on Michael.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Shrapnel [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841896
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	1. Michael's file

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own roswell new mexico or any charecters there in.

Alex was almost done for the night. Having searched through piles of paperwork that had been his Fathers he had found no mention of Caulfield, Tripp or Nora. Alex rubbed his eyes with his hands and rubbed at the muscles tensed in his neck and shoulders. He had not seen Michael since the night Michael had come to him after finding Alex's medical file. Guerin was running and hiding. Alex knew, he had done the same since he was seventeen but he was afraid to ask himself what Michael was running from. They loved each other, confessions made. But was it enough? Alex glanced at the clock, almost mid night. One more file and he was done. Taking a sip from the coffee on his desk he grimaced at the taste and reached for the next file.  
Guerin, Michael 90 was typed on the small label on the front. Alex paused, "come on Manes, its Michael. How bad can it be?" Alex opened the file and stopped. It was worse than he thought.  
Pictures of Michael when he looked about 12 years old before he came to Roswell and was living with a Foster family. Alex stared at the bruising, blackened eyes, the bite mark on his upper arm and what appeared to be a burn of some kind. A defense wound. Alex knew about them and had received many from his Father. He looked through the report with damp eyes refusing to let the tears fall until he had read enough.

Michael has been returned to the ###### children's centre post admission to ##### hospital the name of the hospital and children's home were blacked out. Michael has been quiet since his return, withdrawn from other children although has shown great enthusiasm in his studies and excels at school. Michael does not like physical contact. Will monitor and refer to child therapist as required.

Alex sobbed into his hands, eyes going time and again to the photographs. Young Michael was small for his age, underfed and had large haunted eyes and a stubborn set to his mouth that sometimes made an appearance even now. Alex closed the file unwilling, no unable, to read more. He grabbed his jacket on the way out of the cabin and walked to his car. A light rain was starting to fall as he pulled out onto the road. He needed to see Michael.


	2. No more places to run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael talks to Alex about what he saw. This is Michael's childhood. There are tears and mentions of past child abuse. Trigger warning.

The lights were on as Alex pulled up outside the airstream and the door opened before Alex had turned off the engine.  
"Kind of late for company, dontcha think?" Michael drawled.  
"I needed to talk to you." Alex explained. "Can I come inside?" He swiped a hand through his hair already wet from the rain. Michael stepped back and Alex climbed into the airstream. The place was its usual haphazard mess, but it was clean. Alex sat down on a chair and rubbed absently at his leg.  
"Sooo," Michael sat down on the bed looking at Alex.  
"I was looking through some files. Stuff from Dad's place.." Alex paused, then forced his gaze to meet with Michael's. "Why didn't you tell me your foster Father used to beat you?"  
"Huh," Michael swallowed and looked away. "That was one time Alex, nothing more to say."  
"Michael we both know that beatings like that dont happen straight off. They build up..slowly, painfully, until you think it's normal."  
"Yeah....What do you want me to say Alex?" Michael asked. "That he started hitting me where it wouldn't show when he was drunk? That it didn't matter how quiet I was or if I stayed out till late because he would wait for me? That the burn came from a curling iron he forced me to plug in for him, so he could use it on me? Not only was I too small to stop it Alex, but that I was so scared that I pissed the bed for six months afterwards?" Michael was sobbing as he shouted. Alex watched as the arm gesturing slowed and Michael stood panting.  
"I know what it's like to be hurt by someone supposed to protect you Guerin."  
"The thing is Alex, I knew that guy was a monster. But you, you never realised that your Father was one to."


	3. I believe in you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions and answers

"Do Max and Isabel know?" Alex asked watching as Michael slowly sat back down in the chair like a flower starting to wilt.  
"They know some stuff." Michael admitted. "But not all."  
"Would you have told me, you know, eventually?" Alex wanted to reach out and touch those soft curls, to kiss the stubborn mouth and pleasure away the pain. But he forced himself to wait.  
"No. I dont think so." Michael sniffed nose scrunching.  
"Why? I dont think less of you Guerin, I think it's amazing, who you are given what you've been through.." Alex tried to think of the words.  
"Yeah I'm living the dream." Michael was full of sarcasm. "Look around you Alex. I live in an airstream in a junkyard. The system ruined my life. And I'll be damned if I'll let my past ruin those around me."  
"Is that why you haven't called?" Alex asked in surprised. "Because you think you'll ruin my life?"  
"Being with you that night made me remember a whole bunch of stuff that I cant even explain." Michael admitted. "I want forever with you Alex and I'm fucking terrified of what I would do to get that. What I would give up." Michael sighed heavily. "Everytime I'm happy something bad happens."  
"Guerin... Michael look at me." Alex sat down on the bed next to him. Michael looked up hair falling into his eyes. "I'm scared to. But I believe in you. In us. I dont want to run anymore. I dont want anymore secrets. I want you Michael," Alex brushed the hair from his eyes with a gentle hand. "The good and the bad. I'm yours, remember?" Michael smiled at the words and Alex wiped a tear from his cheek with his thumb. Michael caught his hand gently.  
"I'm yours to Alex. But if you really want to do this, you need to know, who I really am." Michael held up his hand palm out. "No more secrets?" Alex nodded. "Can I mark you then?"


	4. The Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael connect physically and mentally

"Mmark me?" Alex blinked in surprise.  
"Yeah, um it's a way of sharing our memories, emotions, everything." Michael looked into Alex's eyes.  
"Have you done this before?" Alex looked back at Michael gaze open.  
"No. I never wanted to. Only with you." The husky whisper was back, sending a thrill up Alex's spine.  
"What do I need to do?" Michael grinned and it broke the tension, Alex found himself smiling back.  
"Take off your shirt." Michael nodded, " The hand print will be on you for a few days and it needs to be where people cant see." Alex pulled his shirt off over his head and the dog tags around his neck jingled.  
"Are they?" Michael caught them in one hand to read.  
"Uncle Tripp. I wanted a reminder of the type of man I want to be." Alex explained.  
"You're already that type of man Alex." Michael's eyes travelled over the toned torso he knew so well. "Where?"  
"Here," Alex guided his hand to above his heart. Michael could feel the rhythmic pattern of Alex's heartbeat and the warmth of his skin.

"will, does this hurt?" Alex asked looking up at Michael.  
"I dont think so." Michael locked eyes with Alex. "Are you ready?" Alex nodded watching as Michael closed his eyes. From the hand on his chest heat flared, Alex arched into the touch as pleasure swept through him in a tidal wave, his eyes fluttered closed. Alex gasped eyes opening.  
"Holy shit." Michael gasped. Hand still on Alex's chest. Alex closed his eyes following the feeling he had found moments before.

//I fell in love with your son and I didn't feel superior anymore.// 

He could feel Michael's anger and loathing and regret that he couldn't stop Jesse, hadn't found Alex.

// Alex..Back from Bagdad.//

Hope, pain and longing in one single splurge of emotion.

// Go, go I dont love you!// 

Pain at realising he was going to loose his mother. Fear for Alex, wanting to stay, wanting to go. Heartbreak.

//I could have lost you. Both of you.//

Fear, longing and love.

Alex opened his eyes pulling away. Michael's hand slipped from his chest.  
"I...I cant relive that night Guerin. I cant feel why you chose Maria."

"Alex, I need you to trust me. Not because its life or death. Not to be a hero. But because you want to." Michael's eyes were open and vulnerable, pleading. Alex screwed his eyes shut for a few seconds, willing himself for the pain that was to come... He took Michael's hand and pressed it back to his chest.

//I'm in love with you Alex. But I love Maria to. I dont know how to do this.// 

Alex was asleep in the memory Michael was showing him worn out from fear, injury and sex. Michael was awake stroking his hair and whispering so that he would not wake Maria on the other side of him.

//I dont want to be the source of your shame anymore//

Heartbreak. To feel Michael's pain was devastating and Alex wanted to pull away but Michael resisted as the memory moved on.

// would you meet me in the middle, could we both stop keeping score..//

The hope and love Alex could feel from Michael was incredible as he watched himself singing on stage. Then Michael looked at Forrest. He walked away to give Alex what he thought he needed.

Alex was crying when his eyes opened and Michael was to. A hundred wordless promises passed between them and Alex pulled Michael's head down to kiss him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all. I have tried in a couple of fics to explain how the imprint feels and it is so flipping difficult!! How do you describe emotion that strong??  
> Anyway next chapter things are gonna get steamy lol. Will post asap. Hope you enjoy it.


	5. Belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malex sex...there I said it.

Michael tasted like acetone Alex realised, recognising the faint chemical tinge he had noticed as a teen but never thought to ask. His hand slid up into Michael's hair and Michael groaned opening his mouth so that Alex could go deeper. The taste of Michael flooded his senses, the rough scratch of facial hair against his skin, the smell of Michael, part oil, part rain and part purely male...No Michael, that Alex couldn't get enough of. The kissed slowly, long drugging kisses that lingered..Michael's hand came up tracing the iradescence of his hand print on Alex's skin, Alexs back arched inadvertently as pleasure slammed through him in a wave.  
"What...what was that?" Alex asked breathless. Michael grinned down at him, warm and with shining eyes.  
" Something you like private?" He teased before lowering his head to brush his lips against it. Alex gasped, hips twitching and then moaned as Michael started to kiss a path up his neck to his eager mouth.  
"I dont want to rush this." Michael's warm breath in his ear had Alex shuddering. "Not anymore. I.want.to.savour.every.moment." Michael nipped at Alex's ear lobe.  
"Really?" Alex looked up at Michael and then flipped them so that Michael was beneath him and Alex was straddling him. Michael laughed, the sound smothered as Alex kissed him deeply. His hands came up to grasp Alex's hips trying for some friction but Alex pulled away.  
"Slowly remember?"

Michael groaned and flopped back on the pillows. Alex smiled as he slowly started kissing a path down Michael's chest. He paused at his belly button nipping the tender skin and smiling as Michael twitched.

He slowly unfastened Michael's jeans and pulled the down biting his lower lip and glancing up at Michael through his eyelashes.. Michael was naked beneath his jeans and Alex quickly removed them completely savouring the look of Michael sprawled on the bed. His hands slid up those muscular thighs and he lowered his head tongue coming out to taste Michael's glistening tip.  
"Fuck!" Michael groaned exhaling in a rush as Alex took him into his hot mouth. Michael's hands slid into Alex's hair holding tight as he fought to keep his hips still, each groan more guttural than the last. "Fuck Alex," Alex pulled off him with a wet pop his mouth turned into a grin.  
"I thought you'd never ask " Michael flipped Alex onto his stomach straddling him and bit down on the flesh of his shoulder. Alex jerked and moaned, hands gripping the sheet. Michael pulled Alex's pants down over his leg and prosthetic. Stopping to tug off his boots. His hands came back to the prosthetic and he hesitated.  
"Take it off." Alex looked over his shoulder slightly vulnerable.  
"Good.i.just.want.you." Michael kissed him between words. He removed the prosthetic with an ease having watched Alex several times. The liner came away and Michael ran his hands over the stump carressingly. He pulled Alex's boxers off with one smooth move and now nothing was between them. Michael lay along Alex's back gently rutting against him, his erection sliding pleasingly into the sweet cleft of Alex's ass. He kissed the side of Alex's throat.  
"You are perfect Alex." Michael whispered in his ear as he reached one handed for a bottle next to the bed. Alex jumped as Michael pulled away and cool liquid dropped onto his lower back sliding down. He felt Michael's finger follow, circling gently pushing..Alex arched his back and groaned as Michael slid a finger inside him, knowing exactly what angle to use. Waves of pleasure crashed through him as he shuddered, unable to focus on anything but Michael inside him.  
"I need," he whispered...  
"Roll over for me." Michael instructed as he moved off Alex. As Alex knelt up Michael pulled him forward and onto his lap. He held Alex's hips as he slid forward. Both men gasped and then groaned at the sudden penetration.  
"Are you ok?" Michael held himself still, hand on the wall forehead touching Alex's. Alex nodded panting, his pupils were blown, Michael's to.   
"Guerin..Michael, move." Alex begged internal muscles clenching like hot velvet. Michael began to move, rolling his hips in the way Alex liked. Alex linked his hands behind Michael's head staring into his eyes as they moved. Through the link he could feel Michael's pleasure as well as his own, building...Orgasm came in a sudden pulse of white hot pleasure. Alex spilled onto his and Michael's chests while Michael filled him with warmth. They collapsed sideways on the bed panting and shuddering with after shocks. Alex winced as Michael pulled out. He heard water running and then a warm wet cloth cleaned him up carefully.   
"Whew," Michael breathed as he came to lie next to Alex, he pulled Alex into his arms, wanting the contact and pulled a sheet over them.  
" That was..."  
"Cosmic?" Alex asked and Michael laughed.  
"No...That was us Alex, coming home." Alex smiled up at him. "I love you." Michael whispered.  
"I love you to." Alex answered and they kissed gently, lovingly. "Always."


End file.
